The 12 Scandals That Totally Rocked Cascadia
by Allybally
Summary: The 12 Scandals That Totally Rocked Cascadia [According to Adena Stiles]. Oneshot.


The 12 Scandals That Totally Rocked Cascadia (According to Adena Stiles)

_August_

It was August 30th, and students were eagerly searching the crowd for their friends. I myself had purchased the _cutest_ pair of shoes (they totally matched my hair clips) and couldn't wait to show Tanis and Cody.

As I walked down the hall, I smiled at all the returning students (mainly the boys, I must admit), and even some cute freshmen (I'm just that nice). Using the patented 'Adena Stiles Hair Flip' (which I had practiced over the summer), I made sure they'd remember who _I_ was.

But as I approached the Open, where I was sure to find my friends, I saw a group of girls gathered around one of the couches. There, in the center of the crowd, was _April_ _Davis _in _my_ totally cute new shoes! Showing them off! To _everyone_!

Well, of course, I couldn't wear them now! On the first day of school? It would be suicide.

I hurried to my dorm, only thankful that no one had noticed me yet. But I knew that my cute new shoes would now be slightly less cute and new. Tragic.

_September_

It was the last day of the Scott Memorial Tournament, and the sun was shining brightly. Or it was raining. I don't really remember.

Either way, I was on my way to my dorm to change for Cam's match. But when I got to my door, I heard voices inside, so I decided to investigate.

"Do you have the steroids?" I heard Cody's voice. _Steroids_? I stifled a gasp.

"Yeah, don't worry," Tanis replied.

"Good; Squib's been asking about them."

Well, of course, I didn't know what to do! So I just ran down the hall and sort of avoided them for a few days. My best friends? Using steroids? I couldn't believe it!

Of course, three days later, I finally asked Cody. She laughed at me. Turns out she's said _Polaroids_. Artsy little freak. She'd snapped some during Squib's game and lent them to Tanis, but the vanity-obsessed idiot wanted them back.

Whatever. It was totally scandalous for, like, 72 hours.

_October_

There was this Halloween dance going on in town, and _everyone_ was going to be there, so naturally we got permission to go. I showed up in this totally hot cat suit- like, really, I was smokin'. But as I was walking up the sidewalk, I saw two people fall right out of a car! It was a little ways in front of me, so I hurried (well, sort of shuffled, because my shoes were really tight) over to see if they were okay- the door had, like, given out on them and they were now laying on the sidewalk.

Except, as I got closer, I discovered that they were doing more than just _laying_ there. I halted in my tracks- if they were so into it that _falling out of a car_ didn't shake them, I certainly wasn't going to try.

But as I turned to leave, I recognized the girl- Cody's bright hair gave her away. I rolled my eyes, because she and Squib are _always_ all over each other. But then I noticed that the person on the bottom had red hair, too! Long, red hair!

Cody was making out with a girl!

Well, I didn't want to be caught in _that_ awkward situation, so I quickly ran into the party. I found Tanis and told her what happened.

"Adena, that's ridiculous!" She told me.

"I swear, I saw it!" I yelled over the music.

"Come on," she huffed, grabbing my hand, "let's go find out." As she dragged me out of the building, I pondered Cody's new lifestyle. Would I accept her? Well, of course I would; she was my best friend! But it would definitely take some adjustments…

"Hey, Cody!" Tanis called rather boldly as we approached the still lip-locked couple. "What are you doing?"

"What does it _look_ like I'm doing?" She rolled her eyes, coming up for air.

"Well, who's that under you?" Gosh, Tanis needed to learn what 'subtle' meant.

"Squib!" Cody called back in a 'duh' tone.

"But…why does he have red hair?" Now I was _really_ confused!

"See!" The person under her exclaimed, who sounded exactly like Squib. She/he rose to her/his elbows, "I told you I looked stupid!" He whipped off what turned out to be a wig and, sure enough, normal old Squib was underneath.

Except that he was wearing a skirt.

"…What the hell?" I yelled.

"We're each other," Cody explained, blushing slightly and bundling her hair up under a baseball cap. She stood up, revealing a polo and a pair of tennis shorts as her costume. "I guess the hat fell off in the…fall."

"Oh my God," Tanis rolled her eyes as the four of us headed into the party, "learn to control yourselves."

So we spent the night laughing at Squib's skirt, and nothing really came from it.

Except Kelly Bilton heard me talking to Tanis when I'd first come in, and by the end of the night, the whole school was talking about how Cody was gay.

Oops.

_November_

Cody still wasn't talking to me because of the whole 'telling the school she was gay' thing, so Tanis had to sort of act as a relay between us (I needed my fill of Cody and Squib gossip, of course).

Well, one day I noticed that she and Squib seemed distant, so I asked Tanis to find out what was going on. To make sure I didn't miss any of the juicy details, I very stealthily positioned myself outside of the door. The only problem was that they had music blasting, so everything was a little muffled.

"So, why are you and Squib fighting?" I heard Tanis ask.

Cody sighed, "He's all mad because I was cheating on him with Nate." I quickly stepped back from the door. No way could Cody have stooped that low! I couldn't believe it!

Yet, there really was no other explanation…

I quickly fled to the cafeteria- I had to tell someone! Sure enough, there were many 16-year old ears that were just _aching_ for some gossip. I made sure the entire school would know just how _trashy_ Cody was.

Of course, she tracked me down the next afternoon.

"Adena! _Why_ is everyone saying I cheated on Squib?"

"Uh, maybe because you _did_," I spat at her coldly.

She sighed, "_Where_ did you hear that?"

"I heard you telling Tanis!"

"When?"

"Yesterday! When she asked why the two of you were fighting!"

"Adena!" She groaned and hit me in the arm. "I said we were fighting because _I was eating off his plate_!" She hit me again.

"Well, why would he be mad about _that_?" I asked, recoiling from her blows.

"I don't _know_! He's _Squib_!" She rolled her eyes and turned, walking away from me. "Stop eavesdropping!" She hollered.

"It's not my fault Nate rhymes with so many things!"

_December_

The six of us were walking through the mall, doing some last minute shopping, when Squib spotted the mall Santa. And, _of course_, he wanted to be all immature and get his picture taken.

We tried to convince him that he was being an idiot, but eventually Cody said to just leave him and let him learn his lesson, and before we knew it, he was at the front of the line.

"Um, excuse me, sir," the elf with the camera said, "I think you're maybe a little old for this."

"Says who?" Squib huffed, trying to push past him.

"You have to be 10 or under," the elf, who was surprisingly strong, said as he held Squib back.

"Let me through!"

"I can't do that, sir."

"I said I want to go through! I want my picture with Santa!"

Cody hung her head in shame.

Long story short, Squib got into a scuffle with the elf and ended up being dragged away by the mall cop. Cody didn't speak to him until _after_ Christmas break.

But Nate did manage to snap a picture of Squib and the elf wrestling with the cop trying to pull them apart (aren't camera phones awesome?). We gave it to him for Christmas. I don't think he found it funny.

_January_

So, the boys decided to be total idiots on New Year's Eve and get _totally_ drunk. I mean hammered. Completely. Wasted.

So, us girls, being far more responsible, decided to just spend the night in our dorm and give each other makeovers. Well, I decided. Tanis and Cody were kinda mad at first.

So we were just sitting there, minding our own business, choosing the correct shade of nail polish for Tanis' toes, when the door bursts open.

In stumbled Nate, looking a little worse for the wear.

Next came Squib, giggling like mad but still awake at least.

Finally they dragged in Cam, passed out.

And in a dress.

"You need to hide him here!" Squib exclaimed, tossing Cam unceremoniously on Tanis' bed.

"WHAT did you guys do?" Cody demanded.

"What does it look like?" Nate asked.

"You dressed Cameron up as girl when he passed out," Tanis said.

"Bingo."

"It's not even midnight!" I sighed.

"Who cares? This is hilarious!" Squib yelled a little too loud. We figured it was best not to argue with two very intoxicated 17-year old boys, so we let them stay. We spent the rest of the night painting their toes and taking pictures of Cameron.

Which I fully intend to use for blackmail at the opportune moment.

Of course, then midnight came and Squib, in his drunken stupor, accidentally kissed Tanis instead of Cody. So this one's kind of 2 scandals.

_February_

Rick tried to woo Cody by setting a dozen white doves free in the cafeteria. Enough said.

_March_

The boys decided that since Cameron had turned 18, they needed to get drunk for St. Patrick's day. We tried to remind Cam of what happened last time, but he swore he'd remain in control this time. Whatever.

So, once again, we're hanging in our dorm, waiting for them to come stumbling in. And, sure enough, they come bursting through the door very loudly around midnight. Only this time, they're dragging Nate (still fully clothed, fortunately- or unfortunately, depending on how you look at it).

After a _whole_ lot of convincing, we agreed to let them drop him here, if only to save him from his father's wrath. So we made him a little bed out of spare blankets on the floor and then Squib and Cam went back to their dorm.

Well, that wasn't very scandalous.

So we dyed his chest hair green.

_April_

For a few days before Easter, we'd been coloring boiled eggs, just like we did when we were kids. Mine were totally the prettiest, but that's not the point.

So, come Easter morning, we all met up in the Open for lots of chocolate-y fun, when in stumbles Squib, looking rather green.

"Are you okay?" Cody asked, looking worried.

"Uh…yeah…no…I-," And then something really, REALLY gross happened.

Apparently, no one told Squib that you can't eat three-day old eggs that have been sitting out in the sun.

He threw up.

All. Over. _Everything_.

My new shoes? Gone. Easter baskets? Destroyed.

Like, I can't even describe this thing. It was like the creature from the black lagoon. Even thinking about it made me nauseous.

Just….ew. So there's a really gross scandal.

_May_

Okay, now, before I go into this one, I'd just like to say that, despite what Tanis says, it's totally not my fault. It was a simple mistake. Could happen to anyone.

So, I was in a big rush that morning, and I had a _major_ headache. But, luckily, I keep a bottle of Tylenol on the bathroom counter. So, without really looking, I admit, I just grabbed the bottle and ran out the door.

That day at lunch, Tanis comes _storming_ into the cafeteria. Which was unfortunate, because I'd been having a pretty good day. It seemed as though nothing could bring me down. I was just walking around in a sort of dream-like state. It was nice.

"What is WRONG with these people?" She screeched, sitting beside me. "They can't even tell if a freaking ball is out or not!"

"Uh, Tanis-," Cam tried to speak.

"And don't even get me started on those Group C _losers_!"

"Tanis!" I tried to hush her as the room became silent and started staring.

"They can't even hit the damn ball! It's pathetic! _Why_ do I have to waste my time on them?"

Needless to say, we got her out of there as soon as possible.

Cody and I took her back to the dorm, where she kept ranting. Feeling another headache coming on, I reached for the Tylenol in my bag.

Only to discover that I'd accidentally stolen Tanis' happy pills.

Which probably explained my good mood.

Well, of course, no matter how out of it I was, I knew admitting what happened to Tanis was NOT a good idea. So while Cody tried to calm her down, I 'found' the pills under the bed, where they 'must have rolled'.

She was too angry and I was too dazed to realize that there's no way they rolled there from the bathroom.

So the entire school now knows what Tanis really thinks of them. But Tanis doesn't know what really happened, so it's okay.

I don't really remember much of that day.

But people keep coming up to me and saying something about a monkey and peanut butter.

Cody won't tell me what happened.

_June_

No one told me brandy was flammable, okay? I don't want to talk about it.

_July_

So, I'm all set for summer when some _crazy_ teacher says that not only do we have a dumb paper to write, but we don't get out until _July 3rd_!

This is a _scandalous _violation of our rights!

I will be calling the school board.

* * *

"Adena," Ms. Wiley sighed, massaging her temple with one hand and holding her student's paper in the other, "first of all, this last one isn't even a scandal. You're just upset that school ran long. And it was the school board's decision, so calling them will do no good."

"Fine," Adena rolled her eyes, standing in front of her teacher's desk, "but I did my paper, so can I go?"

"Adena," Wiley sighed again, "half of these aren't even scandals! You just overheard things wrong!"

"It's not my fault! Nothing _good_ ever happens around here! I have to make gossip for myself!"

"And when I told you to write a paper reflecting on your year," she charged on, "this is not what I had in mind."

"It's original! I should get points for that!"

Wiley laid the paper on her desk, groaning, "Fine, Adena. See you in September."

"Bye, Ms. Wiley!" She chirped, skipping out the door.

Wiley took another glance at the paper and rolled her eyes, gathering her things. She was interrupted when her phone rang.

"Hello?...Oh, hi Hartley!...Yeah, I'm almost ready, I'm just grabbing my stuff…You made the reservations?...Good!...No, Bates is gone already, he had an appointment with his therapist….I know, right? He's going to crack any day now….And the coach is in rehab for the summer, so it's just you and me…" she paused, listening to the Doc speak, as she stood and grabbed her coat.

"Can you believe Adena Stiles didn't know Brandy was flammable?...Everyone knows alcohol is flammable!...Speaking of which, I could use some…You brought the Gin, right..."

* * *

"It's not my fault she didn't like my stupid paper," Adena grumbled as she made her way back to her dorm to grab her bags.

"Nothing exciting _ever_ happens here."

**To Candy, because she helped me think of scandals.**

**And yes, I am perfectly aware that Wiley capitalized 'brandy' and 'gin'. That's just how she talks.**

**Don't be scandalous! Review!**


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